A Father’s Letter to His Daughter Before University

Timeless Advice for University, Life, and the Age of AI

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Friends,

Something a little bit different this week.

I wrote this letter for my eldest daughter as she heads to university. It began as something private, something I wanted her to carry with her when I couldn’t be there every day. It’s taken me a few weeks. But as I finished it, I realised that many parents and students face the same questions: how do we prepare the next generation for a world that’s changing so quickly?

So I’m sharing it here, anonymised, in case it helps anyone else. It’s not a checklist, not a manifesto, just the best advice I could offer at a turning point. Maybe you’ll recognise some of it. Maybe you’ll pass it on. Maybe you’ll write your own. Either way, this started in my family. If it resonates more widely, I’ll take that as proof that the challenges ahead and the hopes are shared. And if it does resonate, feel free to adapt it for your own family.

Stay Curious - and don’t forget to be amazing,

Rahim

Dear DD1

This last year was a wake-up call. Life is shorter than we think, full of unexpected bumps. Illness reminded us that nothing is guaranteed, and too much can be left unsaid. Eighteen years have gone in the blink of an eye, and there’s too much to say in the last few days before you leave. That’s why I wrote this. What I think I know, from what I think I’ve learned. Other parents may have a different view, but it’s my role as your dad, maybe my duty, to tell you as much as I can as you go and start this next phase of your life. I thought about just saying - study hard, have fun, find yourself, network, live life and enjoy, but somehow, if doesn’t feel enough.

As you know, the real reason I’m hiding in the study is to write my book, SuperSkills, and to try and understand how humans can excel in the age of AI. But I realised this: what use is it to write about these things if I don’t first put them into relevant words for my own family? So, this letter is me packaging up the wisdom from that work along with other wisdom from getting old, distilled into what I believe you’ll need for the future. Some of these you’ve heard from me before, but if I don’t communicate them in a way that I think is clear, I’ll feel guilty that I haven’t done a good job. So take this as advice with good intention, not as gospel.

How you spend your time is how you spend your life. At eighteen, it feels like you have oceans of it. You don’t. University will pass faster than you expect. I remember being dropped off to halls just like it was yesterday. The habits and mindsets you build now will stay with you long after the details of lectures fade.

You’ll be flooded with more information than any generation before you. Relying on memory alone won’t be enough. Build a second brain in Notion or somewhere manageable. This will become a place for lectures, readings, conversations, and stray ideas. Read Tiago Forte’s Building a Second Brain if you want a starting point. It’s in the Kindle library. Over years, that system will become your private archive of wisdom, the habit that helps you keep and use what you learn.

Learn not just how to learn, but how to unlearn. Some of what you believe now about careers, success, even about yourself, will stop serving you. Letting go is harder than picking up something new, but it’s what keeps you alive to change. And remember to read widely. Alongside lectures, make time for the best books of all time: philosophy, novels, biographies. My deepest reading happened in my 20s. Technology will keep shifting, but human nature barely changes at all. Don’t just feed on the new. Drink from the old wells. Humanity existed way before you or me.

AI will be everywhere. ChatGPT, Gemini, Claude, NotebookLM, use them to test your reasoning, critique your essays, surface blind spots, help you learn faster. But resist letting them finish your sentences. Keep your intellectual authenticity. Shortcuts will tempt you, but work that’s truly yours will carry you further than anything generated. Machines can answer almost anything, but they can’t ask the questions that matter. Train yourself to ask: what does this mean, what happens next, what are we not seeing?

Protect your attention. Your phone will try to steal it ten seconds at a time. Most students will let their best years dissolve into distraction. Don’t. Guard your attention as you would your money, maybe more carefully. And secure your digital life. Use two-factor authentication and a password manager. It’s dull until you lose everything. And if you have a panic about forgetting your master password, you know who to call.

Create things: a blog with twelve readers, a club, a simple app, a short project in a society, a side hustle. Completion matters more than scale. Most of what you try will flop, but failure is data, not identity. I’ve learned more from my flops than my wins.

You won’t do well in everything you put your mind to. Believe me, I failed a module once because I just couldn’t see why we had to learn it. I thought I could beat the system by ignoring it, but the system won. I scraped through the resit and learned a harder truth: sometimes you just have to suck it up, do the work, and get through it. You don’t have to love every part of the path, but you do need to keep moving forward.

Find one lecturer who knows you well. Show up to office hours with real questions you want answered. Follow up with progress. Over time, that relationship can open doors you can’t yet imagine. And start career preparation now. Too many wait until the final year; by then the best roles are gone. Apply early. Your CV is a great starting point, and building on it now will open more doors. Use LinkedIn to track opportunities and connect early. It’s a weak tie that pays off.

Build weak ties as well as strong ones. Close friends matter, but it’s often acquaintances, the person you meet once at a society drinks or a networking event, who open doors years later. Stay open in your learning too. Universities often reward compliance. Lecturers sometimes prefer tidy answers over original ones. Don’t let that narrow your imagination. The most important ideas are often the ones that don’t fit the rubric.

When I first went to uni, I wasted hours trying to fit in instead of building what mattered. I looked for people who felt familiar, people like the ones I’d grown up with. By the time I realised the world is diverse and richer than I’d imagined, I’d missed the chance to invest more deeply in friendships that could have shaped me. It was okay in the end, but I regret it. I didn’t make that mistake the second time I went back to uni, and so I hope you find your multiple clans and make great friendships.

Take care of your health, body and mind. Sleep seven to nine hours. I used to think it was cool that I could survive on three or four. Train it, fuel it. Health compounds just like money. Neglect does too. You are more likely than us to live to 100. So treat your body as though you’ll need it every year of that span. Protect your safety as carefully as your health. University brings freedom but also risk. Trust your instincts. Stay aware of your surroundings. Don’t walk alone late at night if it doesn’t feel safe. Me and Mummy trust your judgement, but we still want you to remember this. These aren’t restrictions, they are the guardrails that let you explore without regret.

Mental health struggles are normal, and university magnifies them. If you feel anxious, overwhelmed, or low, don’t face it alone. Talk to friends, reach out for counselling, seek professional help if you need to, and call home. Mummy will always be your best counsellor. Asking for help is strength, not weakness. In our day, it was considered a weakness, and my generation is worse for it. And remember, you also have your faith. You may swing in and out of it. I did, but if you hold to it, it can be another source of confidence. A reminder that there is something bigger than you, rooting for you, walking with you, even when you feel alone.

Think of your health, physical, mental, and emotional, as the foundation for that 100-year life. Protect your body, guard your mind, and manage your energy as carefully as your time or money. Without that foundation, nothing else holds.

Manage money with clarity. Track it weekly. Learn to say no to opportunities whether that’s societies, events, even internships, so you can say yes to what matters most. And recognise the class dynamics around you. Some of your peers will live on unlimited parental support and some will just about have enough for food. That disparity can sting. Don’t measure yourself against others’ situations. Focus on managing what you have. That discipline will outlast luxury or poverty.

Learn skills that travel. A little coding, some data analysis, the ability to tell a story clearly that keeps people captivated. Tools will change, but adaptability and clarity will always matter. Curiosity will matter too. Each term, chase a question outside your course. Let it take you somewhere unexpected. Curiosity is the engine that keeps people fresh when others go stale.

You’ll face harder truths as well. Loneliness will visit you. While others scroll or party, you’ll be writing, building, or reading. Don’t mistake that for being wrong. Envy will sting too. You’ll watch classmates win awards or land glamorous internships. Envy is poison. Celebrate others sincerely. People remember who cheered for them. You’ll feel pressure to follow the crowd whether that’s partying, trends, or opinions. Trust your gut to choose your path, the right parties, the right trends and have a nuanced voice to either agree or disagree.

You’ll fall in love with the wrong people. Intensity is not compatibility. Potential is not reality. The right person doesn’t just excite you, they make you better. Status will tempt you, flashy jobs, expensive brands. Most of it is performance for people you don’t even like. Don’t waste your freedom on symbols. Your name and behaviour are what people remember. Be reliable. Credit others. Own mistakes quickly. People will forget marks but not how it felt to work with you, to talk with you. And when exams feel overwhelming, remember this: deep understanding is more valuable than perfect marks. A B+ with mastery is worth more than an A from cramming.

Suffering will come. Illness, rejection, loss. Don’t let it embitter you like it did me. Let it teach you. Everyone you meet is fighting battles you cannot see. Carry that compassion.

And remember the story you yourself carry. In a few generations, our family went from near-poverty to what is guaranteed to be an amazing future. I know it. That history gave you advantages many won’t have: stability, support, perspective. Use it well. Day to day, that means sharing what you learn, helping classmates who didn’t start with the same scaffolding, and inviting others in. Advantage goes wrong when it’s hoarded.

Even your parents are flawed. We made choices with incomplete information. Love us, learn from us, but don’t copy us blindly. Respect our experience but trust your judgment. And as you step into adulthood, know this: our relationship will change. You can always come to me, but I will also respect your independence. I don’t need to control your choices. I only want to walk beside you as you make them and know that you’re making a great decision for a great life ahead. Or, to borrow the words of the man behind your iPhone: “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” I couldn’t put it better myself.

And through it all, don’t forget joy and fun. Step outside your comfort zone often. Comfort shrinks if you stay inside it. Say yes to experiences that stretch you, but also learn the power of no. Save your energy for what matters most. Watch great films and argue about them until 3 a.m. Maybe you’ll watch The Godfather one day without falling asleep? Read novels for no reason. Even the trashy ones that make you cringe and laugh out loud. Stay up too late laughing with friends. Travel if you can. Volunteer for causes that matter. Cook badly, then better. Then cook for us one day and wow us. Dance until your feet hurt. Let yourself fall in love, even if it doesn’t last. Meet people utterly unlike you. These moments won’t show up on a transcript, but they’ll shape you as much as any lecture. University isn’t a waiting room for real life. It is life.

When I first went to university, I didn’t know who I was. Identity mattered, but I hadn’t yet learned how to build it. In many ways, you’re already ahead of where we were: more mature, more ready for the world. Me and Mummy are prouder of you than words can capture. Your sister looks up to you. That’s not a burden, it’s a springboard. These words in this letter are for both of you, in different ways. For your sister, these habits can start now in school. Maybe she’ll build that second brain early, chase curiosity. And maybe one day you’ll both pass them back to me with wisdom of your own.

These are just nuggets I’ve wanted to say without overloading you. Things I wish I’d known. This is meant to be a reference for the next few years, not a to-do list for your first week! And even if you choose not to follow any of it, that’s okay. That’s the whole point of growing up, to make decisions, to adjust, to discover for yourself what matters. Your path is yours to make. All we want is for you to be happy.

Know this too: me and Mummy are always here. We want “proof of life” every day: a call, a video, a message, even just an emoji. You may be a few hours away, but we are always with you. I used to be afraid of failure, but I learned more about myself from not succeeding than from winning. And I’m still learning. In this day and age, we will always be learning.

The work I’m doing may one day be read by strangers. But you should know it began here, as words from a father to his daughters, trying to share the very best of what I’ve learned.

Go and make your century extraordinary. We will love you no matter what.

With all my love, always,

Papa xx

PS. Ever since you were a kid, you’ve been legit. XO.

Thank you.

Thank you for reading something so personal this week. If even one line helps someone else, it’s worth sharing. Next week I’ll be back with the usual mix of links and editorial, but this felt too important not to send out on its own. - Rahim

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