Anxious
A shift from Play to Phone
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Friends,
(PSA: I’ll be stepping away from the keyboard - and trying to unplug over the coming weeks with some R&R and cultural eye openings. So, the forthcoming weeks will not have any curated links, and I may not choose to send anything - but I’ll be back by the end of August. )
I sent my youngest away to camp this last week. She’s 12 and she has her own phone. (Don’t judge me. I think it’s the age that is the norm where we are.)
Luckily the organisers made this camp “electronics free” - and while she could have taken the phone on the coach, she gave us the phone to take home. I was happy, because for a short few days, she would be able to experience childhood in a similar way to how I remember it.
Ive just completed The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness by Jonathan Haidt. If you’re a parent, read it. If you grew up with a phone, read it. If you use your phone for more than 1 hour a day, read it.
The rise of smartphones coincided with a dramatic increase in mental health issues among Generation Z. From 2012 onwards, we've seen a staggering rise in anxiety, depression, and even suicide rates among adolescents. This isn't just a coincidence; it's a profound shift in how kids grow up. The key to understanding this change lies in what children have lost: unstructured, play-based childhoods. It’s moved to a central point in their lives. The smartphone. Everything revolves around the linkages to it.
Children used to spend their free time playing outside, imagining, and interacting face-to-face. I went through all of my formalised education years without mobiles. The activities I picked up are crucial for developing social skills, creativity, and emotional resilience - all of things we know to be important in the AI age. But as smartphones became ubiquitous, these forms of play diminished. Kids are now more likely to be found staring at screens than engaging with the real world. The consequences of this shift are far-reaching.
One of the most significant losses is the opportunity for free play. Unlike structured activities, free play allows kids to make their own rules and solve problems on the fly. It's a form of exploration that can't be replicated on a screen. Instead, kids are engaging in virtual worlds designed by others, where the rules are pre-set, and the challenges are artificial. This shift from creating to consuming has stunted their growth in ways we are only beginning to understand.
The central claim in the book is that these two trends—overprotection in the real world and underprotection in the virtual world—are the major reasons why children born after 1995 became the anxious generation.
Another crucial element missing in today's childhoods is attunement. This is the art of connecting with others, reading emotional cues, and responding appropriately. It’s a skill developed through face-to-face interactions. When kids spend more time communicating through screens, they miss out on these essential social experiences. They don’t communicate in the right way, at the right time. They lose the chance to practice empathy, patience, and cooperation. The virtual interactions they do have are often shallow, lacking the depth and nuance of real-life conversations - the back and forth, rather than the group chat group think emoji reaction.
Social learning is also taking a hit. In the past, kids learned by observing and emulating the behaviors of those around them. Now, they're often influenced by the curated lives they see on social media. This isn't real learning; it's a distorted version of reality that can lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointment. Kids are bombarded with images of perfection that are impossible to live up to, leading to increased anxiety and depression.
Moreover, the constant access to smartphones has led to fragmented attention spans. Kids are now accustomed to multitasking, constantly switching between different apps and activities. This habit prevents them from focusing deeply on any single task. The result? A generation that struggles with sustained attention, which impacts everything from academic performance to personal relationships.
And then there's the issue of addiction. This is the issue that I’m most concerned with. Not just for my kids, but for myself. Smartphones and the apps on them are designed to be addictive. They use a combination of external triggers and variable rewards to keep users hooked. For young minds, this can be particularly damaging. The constant need for stimulation can lead to symptoms of withdrawal when the device is taken away. This dependency on technology is not just a distraction; it's a barrier to developing healthy coping mechanisms and resilience.
What can we do to mitigate these effects? The solution isn't as simple as taking away phones. It's about finding a balance. We need to create more opportunities for kids to engage in real-world activities. This means encouraging outdoor play, fostering face-to-face interactions, and setting boundaries around screen time. It's also essential to teach kids how to use technology responsibly, emphasizing that it's a tool, not a crutch.
In the end, the goal should be to provide children with a balanced upbringing that includes both digital and real-world experiences. By doing so, we can help them develop the skills and resilience they need to navigate an increasingly complex world. The challenge is not just to limit technology's negative impacts but to harness its potential in a way that complements traditional forms of play and learning.
The question remains: How can we create an environment that nurtures both digital literacy and real-world competence? The answer lies in thoughtful, deliberate choices by parents, educators, and society as a whole. The issue is that that is difficult and also artificial. We can educate and put guardrails on this, but my daughter will be back and I will give her back her phone - because she will need to immediately speak to the friends she just made IRL.
Stay Curious - and don’t forget to be amazing,
Here are my recommendations for this week:
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The Great AI Unbundling: Why ChatGPT and Claude will spawn the next wave of startups Related: TikTok is throwing $20 million a month at OpenAI via Microsoft
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